i am a human people ..... no emotion means we are robot but emotions with the control is the element that im struggling with ....
i may sounds or acts like a ''junkies'' when i got through the weeks . 2 weeks ago i blogged on how i started to stay in miri with the mindset of singlehood. i did failed to maintain it. i fall in the middle. i cried a lot. loneliness and desperation attacked my mind which extend the blood vein in my heart. it almost exploded.
this is not because im too crazy of a guy or too damn in love with a guy. i have an issue, easily emotional attached and desperation of attention. as sarah barreiliss song say , '' im the queen of the attention of details''. this problem caused another problem. its affected other people around me. i do not want anyone hurts because of my problem.
a friend of mine, said '' kumbang bukan seekor'' ... hehe ... which is very true but dats not my problem gang, i can have any guy i want on just a second but i want to learn to do and enjoy this world with my own view and effort before im ready to love again.
love should be patient, no envy, no jealous and no pain. this is what im targeting. how ? i have to love myself first then i can love other people without emotion destruction.
when i fall again during the process, God intervened. He reminded me '' HE IS FAITHFULL'' . this coming sunday, i will be leading the praise and worship at church, i personally choose a song by christ tomlin, 'forever' .... the chorus part said '' FOREVER GOD IS FAITHFUL, FOREVERY GOD IS STRONG'' ... i cant stand in this world in this circumstances all alone.. i need God to intervene. im learning to empty my mind by hearing to God more.. its hard but im tring my best.
well, enough of my ''preaching'' , none of you would understand but i know someday somewhere, you want it the way i want it too..
i celebrated my valentines day with my cousin and his wife, we went for kfc dinner ..... soooo classic . for my birthday, it was humble enough to have my home 'tapau' dinner with my families and a cheesecake bought by daddy.
the few days later, my church members did celebrate it too by bringing me for dinner .. food food food ... asian and their food just like the italian too .....
* bowling pose .... i won best dress for the event ... funny
* my fav cousin's wife... our vals day dinner. my first time wearing pink all the way
* my cousin and his wife...... loving this two couples....... i usually feels better everytime im with them
* our hands with the love sticks i got for AYC ... this was during my dinnver bday with the chuch member
* my angelina jolie's style .... lol bday at home
* my dad was preparing the cake while watching by my hungry sisters
* mommy had fun
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