Yesterday evening, i went home with a heartless emotionless body. not tired, not weary, just i dont feel like feeling anything. See, feeling can be control by your mind.
I watched tv while eating my early dinner because my discipline to eat before 7pm has to be maintained. Not until my eyes and brain satisfied to watch what i want, my dad interfered, he has to watch news. i didn't object or angry, i just went to bathroom to shower....
i jumped on my bed, sniffed on his shirt, hmmm actually more than sniffing, i hugged and hugged and cuddled and sniffed and ............................. tears
im good in keeping my feeling not to make myself feel good but not to be overeacted about it. nobody knows i feel sad for weeks now. but dont worry, im cool. never been better
I miss victor. The last time i heard from him was last friday. He called to say he has arrived.
i dont want to be hopeless lover but I do will wait for him.Love is not the only thing to make people stay together and be together. There is a lot other thing to be consider and we are in the middle of building our career. I believe, once the career has hit the spot, Victor and i will be together. I believe
People asked, 'Pri, you are an atrractive person, u meet a lot of people, u have a lot of friend, why are u still waiting for victor?'
'' i wasted my 4 years not waiting patiently... i lost a lot of important and lovely people in my life. Today, im living a life which i have to take up the chances to face the risk which might not be the risk. Even if its a risk, it would make my life excited.''
People asked again, ' why are u really into victor?'
' the first impression i got when the first time i know him, he is quiet. i love quiet person and he is smart. well, that was before, now, i am into him because, both of us can be ourself whenever we are together, we act like kids, act like friends, act like enemy and he is a sweetie although he is not a romantic person but he is sweet.'
people asked, ' what do u miss the most about him?'
' i miss his finger fills the space of my hand. he holds my hand while sleeping, he kiss me if i fall asleep while watching him playing games, he buys me stuff ( he lost a lot of money a lot of time because of me, long story tho). i miss his smell, his smile, his long leg look like praying mantis........... (hahahahahahahhahahah...........)' u know, people will roll their eyes if i continue
people asked, 'what do u love the most about him?'
' he is willing to change. yes he reacted slow but he is changing. if you ever date me, u wont stay longer i bet. most of my ex, they say the same thing , im a nagger... good nagger. but hey , im changing tho because Victor willing to change too. He really lead me to have calm and relax attitude. as the payback, he calls me everyday , even if he failed to do so, i wont set the bomb and bombard his phone. He made me be patient, as a payback, he has to accompany me more than 2 hours while hanging around with my girlfriends...... above all, he knows and understand how to balance up the task being in a relationship.'
people still wondering, ' Are u sure he loves u just being balance?'
' Love is universal. Love is real. He is doing it. so its all love. Yes he do loves me and i love him too.'
people is getting the point, ' now both of you is far. what are you going to do to maintain the love?'
' lets skip the process coz its a long story. The most important thing is, HOPE, PRAY and BELIEVE.'
people gets bored with my calm answer, ' what if your relationship wont work? '
' victor and i is not a magician but God is mighty and powerful, thing happens or not happens. i believe, God will provide and bless me more than i do now.'
all this question asked by people a lot of time , last nite, i flashed it back and write it here today.
it may be not your best love story ever but victor is my best of life ever happened to me.
well well well ... boss is in the office and ive spend my time on net for 2 hrs without doing work. let me get my ass back
xoxo
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